Take Your Vitamins, or The Story Of How I Got Told

Hello folks, welcome to today’s edition of Notes from Miss Lisa’s Violin Studio!

When the curtain rises, we see a tiny pink-clad figure sniffling and coughing her way into the studio. She cheerfully announces that she was too sick to go to school yesterday and today, and she hopes she feels better enough to go back tomorrow, because she is getting bored of being sick at home. Miss Lisa fakes a smile, politely expresses her joy that Shmae-hyeon can be bored and sick at violin lessons instead, and tries to hold her breath for the next half hour.

Two more sick children later, Miss Lisa tells her next student (whom we will call “Shmanna” to protect her privacy) how relieved she is to see one germ-free child, and warns her (jokingly) to drink her OJ when she gets home.

Shmanna: I don’t drink orange juice. I drink apple juice. I don’t like orange juice.

ML: Yeah, I don’t like either of them…actually, I never drink juice.

Shmanna: Oh. Do you drink milk?

ML: Uh…well, no, I don’t like milk either.  Just in my cereal.

Shmanna: (eyes wide) What DO you drink?

ML: Well, sometimes I put extra milk in the cereal!  So there’s some left to drink at the end!  You know?

Shmanna: Oh, I do that too.  But what do you DRINK??

ML: Water.

Shmanna: (considers this for a moment)

ML: And coffee.

Shmanna: (has the solution now) But you take your vitamins, right?

ML: (shame-faced) No, uh, I don’t. Take those. Either.

Shmanna: (sternly) Well, I take two gummy bear vitamins every morning. They’re yummy. They taste like candy. You would like them.

ML: (bites back a “Yes, Mommy.”) I bet I would. (meekly) I’ll try them.*

*Miss Lisa has no intention of actually buying or ingesting any corn-syrup-and-gelatin-based-bear-shaped-nuggets-of-vitaminy-goodness, thanks very much, no, instead she has decided to recommit herself to eating spinach and flaxseed and hot water with lemon and maybe even bee pollen.  Take that, eleven-year-old whose last name happens to be (no joke) Wise.


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